mommas.

I know it's almost over, but I had to write down what was on my heart today.

obviously, I love my mom and grandmother and mother in law and am so very thankful for them and honor them today.

i am also very thankful that camp + asher have made ME a mom as I celebrated my first mothers day.

but my heart today was with the women who long to be mothers.

i have a few good friends in my life that are in that place right now - longing, hoping, praying, struggling month after month.

I know what it's like because for the past {almost} 3 years, that has been me.

I thank God for the opportunity to show love & speak strength and truth into the lives of women who are struggling to be mommas.

to have been through the pain & the tears and the 40+ pregnancy tests.

I understand.

i might never have biological kids.

I hope we do & we have for sure not given up but I don't know if that is in the Lords plans for us.

I don't think late August 2009 I would have ever imagined my life would be where it is now.

I was ready to be a mom.  to be pregnant.  to start a family.

I desperately tried to get pregnant for almost a year before the Lord laid adoption in our path.

but honestly, I can't EVEN imagine what my life would be like if things happened according to MY timing & my plan.

I know I say this all the time & I am starting to feel like a broken record but it's true!

the life I know now, I would NOT have known if things had happened according to "my plan".

God's plans are SO MUCH better and tonight at church when we sang "Your Love Never Fails" I was praising God & claiming the promise that He makes ALL things work together for my good.

So Lord, thank you for the heart ache and pain that I've been through in my road to mommy hood.  I pray that I will be able to comfort those who are longing to be mommas and be able to extend hope and love to them in their journey.  that my story will have an impact.  that they will know, I mean really know, that you HAVE a plan for each of them.  and that it's beyond anything we could ever imagine.  and your plans for us are GOOD.

I will fall asleep praying for the women around the world that long to be mothers.  

at church tonight the sermon was about women - and how our identity is not in being a mother, but our identity instead is in being a daughter of the King.  May we find our joy & completeness in Him alone!

Happy Mothers Day, yall.