May 30, 2012

on my heart: africa.

I feel like I always have something on my heart, and sometimes it's best if I just sit down for a little blog therapy session.

I'm not going to lie, I'm in the middle of an interesting season.  I'm wrapping up my photography business in order to be ready for "the call" to go to court, I'm planning things like I'll be here this summer but praying that I'm in Ethiopia meeting my babies instead, and all the while watching some very good friends travel to the place I want to be most: Africa.

Now hear me on this, when I say that Africa feels like home I mean no disrespect to my actual home in Texas.  Or the home I grew up in.  It's something I can't explain but my heart  hurts because it wants to be in 2 places at once: here home & there home.  I am so thankful for my bff Jenna who tells me how it is & sent me a very encouraging email last week reminding me that she too was right where I am just last summer.  Aching for her court date, watching friends GO, just wallowing sometimes (like I've been).  She told me that I need to embrace this season, where the Lord has me, and not wish it away.  To spend time with Stephen, as much of it as I can, and to cherish this sweet time waiting on our babies.  I'm so thankful for that.  for someone who's gone before me and can share her wisdom & experiences with me.

But today was one of those days.
I miss Africa.
I want to go there now.
I get sad every time everyone asks me when I'm going back.
{I even went to Target to get some "africa skirts" today to make it feel a little closer}

I keep telling Stephen I NEED to go back.
to get a different perspective.
he first responded with, "Wynne, we don't need to be in Africa to do missions - we can do it right here"
and God has taught us that lately.  that if we are going to do missions overseas, we have to do it here.  that if we aren't effective & living it right here in Midland than who are we to think we could do it in Ethiopia?
I know that. but what I mean is my heart needs a new perspective.

I need to go back there so I'm not so obsessed with getting a new rug in my kitchen and new curtains in our bedroom.  
Because when I'm THERE, I know what need looks like.
and honestly, my friends over there NEED an education more than I "need" new curtains.

I need a fresh perspective.

When I left Ethiopia the last time I was there with Visiting Orphans/Project 61 I literally bawled when we were dropped off at the airport.  The poor guys on our team didn't know what to do with me.  I was a hot mess for about 2 hours.  the constant facebook messages with my son Eyob & I while in line to board the plane didn't help much either.  Those people became family to me.  They weren't just people I met once, but people I've kept up with for a year almost.  People I've prayed with, sweated with, worked with, sang with, had fun with, worked for the Kingdom with, loved precious kids with.  I love them.  They feel as much of a part of my life as people at home do.  I frequent facebook late night just so I can chat with them, I buy them shirts every time I'm at Target and there is a sale, I pray for them, I send them letters and pictures, and I long to be there with them.

I'm so excited for my friends who are about to experience this.
they are about to get wrecked.
world rocked.

that's what I desire.  to have people SEE, I mean really see.
to TASTE & SEE that the Lord is good.
to know there is MORE.
to know real need.
and to long to meet that need.
to live simply so others can simply live.

I just wish they could pack me in their suitcase.
but since that isn't happening, I'll send them.
that's where God has me now & he's showed me more than ever how important it is to send, and send well.

lots of pictures & stories going on on my facebook page this week.
for those of you going to Ethiopia/Korah soon - keep checking, it'll be fun for you to get a glimpse of what you are about to experience first hand.

thanks for listening.
that was a good session :)


  1. haha, i like to say, blogging's cheaper then therapy. :)

    oh wynne. i can so relate to that ache. your friend's email is wise, about not wishing this season away. honestly sometimes i hate when people tell me that. i want to scream at them, "you're only saying that because you LIKE the season you're in!!!" and sometimes that's true. :) but sometimes what they're telling me is true.

    praying we both get to hold our babies, and SOON!!!! my momma's heart can't take much more.

  2. I loved this post. I'm going to Ethiopia (Kechene) with a group called Awake & Alive September 6-16to open a school for the endangered kids there (and do lots of other work on the trip too) and I can't wait, I look forward to it every minute of every day. But at the same time, it's my first time going and I am afraid of how I'll be when I get back. I'm afraid I won't want to be here... not in an ungrateful way, but in a way that I'm scared I'll ache to be there and be uncomfortable living in my "comfort" after I have seen how much need there is there and the way that they live. And I'm scared for how much I will fall in love with the children. No matter what, I know it will completely change my life.
    I will pray for you during this season of waiting.. I hope to adopt from Ethiopia one day as well and I can only imagine how hard the waiting must be!

  3. Best blog therapy ever. I love the part about knowing what NEEDS look like. Because I don't need a new bed spread the same way they need clean water and new shoes. Totally put every single one of my wants into perspective. So thank you. Praying for your heart, lady!

  4. I'm there with you! I almost cried a few times last week aching to go to Africa. We're in paperwork phase and not waiting phase. So that helps! When I pray for my lil one, I think of this whole world that I know nothing about! Sure, I research, but I don't know the sounds and smells.

    Hope you get your call soon!


    PS-I go thrift shopping a lot now, because my shopping budget took a nose dive when we decided to adopt! :D

  5. What a sweet blog post - I love it and it makes me even more sure that making the trip to Africa is the right thing for us to do! I cannot thank you enough for opening this world up to us and we look forward to knowing a little bit about Camp and Asher's home once they come to live with you in Midland!!! Also, don't forget to savor and stock pile your sleep in these last few days/weeks/months because it is going to be a while before you have this much time to sleep again!!!!

    Lots of LOVE! xoxoxo

  6. Thank you for that! I just wrote a post the other day where I pretty much say that I already know how difficult of a time I am going to have coming back home, and I haven't even been to Ethiopia yet. As excited as I am to go, I am already dreading the fact that I will have to leave all of those kids and come back without them. I'm having a really hard time with it already, but I know it's God working in me.


thanks for the love!