my head is swimming with so many things right now.
I feel like I could write an entire book, but I'm praying that God would give me the words to put on this page.
fear.
it's a paralyzing thing.
but 1 John 4:18 says....
right before that verse in 1 John 4:16 it says, "so we have come to know and to believe the love God has for us".
to not only KNOW, but BELIEVE the love God has for us....that has been a prayer of mine for the past few years. and I feel like the past few weeks, God has really really opened my spiritual eyes to see. Our pastor has been talking about FEAR the past few weeks, and it's just amazing Gods timing. The weekend before Created for Care was his first sermon. Something he said really stuck out to me then & now, "the thing or place we've come to fear is the exact place God wants to show us His great love". we fear because we don't trust, and part of not trusting is that we don't know and/or believe gods love for us. if you are like me, you need to read that again. God loves you, God loves me more than we could ever imagine. His plans for us are GOOD. He's a good father. He wants to lead us. He wants us to trust Him.
God has been revealing to me what my fear is.
and I have no doubt that my fears have been holding me back.
the first fear that comes to mind is the fear of losing my husband.
which is a very real fear that stems back to a dream or very real thought in junior high that either me or my husband would die young.
but my fears go deeper than that.
I fear not ever being able to have biological kids [that's a post all of it's own]
I fear that I won't be able to take care of my kids the way I'm called to
I fear missing out on gods purposes for my life
I fear that what I'm passionate about, and what I feel led to aren't where God wants me to go
and the list really could go on....
but bringing those fears to light.
and LETTING God show me His great love for me the past few weeks
well it's wrecked my world all over again.
it's why I'm leading this trip with my husband this summer.
we heard Bob Goff [if you don't know who he is, order his book now + follow him on twitter] and he has an amazing story.
God has done some pretty big things in his life + his message is simple: BE NOT AFRAID.
He says over & over how amazing things happen "when we aren't afraid anymore"
did you know the bible says "do not fear" 365 times in the bible? thats one time for every day of the year. you think the Lord is trying to get a message across to us?
so...about fear.
I don't want to fear. I want to bring my fear to light. I want to KNOW, really know that there is NO fear in love. I want to know that God has me where he wants me, so He can show me his great love. and showing me He is.
I am right where He wants me.
I'm stepping out. I'm saying YES. I'm not afraid anymore.
I can't miss out on what He wants to do in my life because I'm afraid.
He is sovereign. He is in control. He has numbed my days, and I don't want to miss out anymore because I'm fearful.
saying YES to the trip meant laying down my fear of leaving my babies behind with family.
it meant saying YES despite my fear of leading
it meant saying YES to going back to a place that is uncomfortable + stretching for me...[Uganda]
I love what Philip Knight said after we watched the Man Up & Go movie...we don't go on these trips to love on the fatherless because we think it sounds like fun...we go because christ compels us to.
we go even when it's out of our comfort zone, even when it scares us, because that means we have to rely on christ more.
ramblings.
but I pray that they encourage you.
and that they make you look at the FEAR you have, and that you pray and ask god to help you KNOW and BELIEVE the great great love he has for you.
because He sure does love you.
I feel like I could write an entire book, but I'm praying that God would give me the words to put on this page.
fear.
it's a paralyzing thing.
but 1 John 4:18 says....
"there is NO FEAR in love, but perfect love casts out fear"
right before that verse in 1 John 4:16 it says, "so we have come to know and to believe the love God has for us".
to not only KNOW, but BELIEVE the love God has for us....that has been a prayer of mine for the past few years. and I feel like the past few weeks, God has really really opened my spiritual eyes to see. Our pastor has been talking about FEAR the past few weeks, and it's just amazing Gods timing. The weekend before Created for Care was his first sermon. Something he said really stuck out to me then & now, "the thing or place we've come to fear is the exact place God wants to show us His great love". we fear because we don't trust, and part of not trusting is that we don't know and/or believe gods love for us. if you are like me, you need to read that again. God loves you, God loves me more than we could ever imagine. His plans for us are GOOD. He's a good father. He wants to lead us. He wants us to trust Him.
God has been revealing to me what my fear is.
and I have no doubt that my fears have been holding me back.
the first fear that comes to mind is the fear of losing my husband.
which is a very real fear that stems back to a dream or very real thought in junior high that either me or my husband would die young.
but my fears go deeper than that.
I fear not ever being able to have biological kids [that's a post all of it's own]
I fear that I won't be able to take care of my kids the way I'm called to
I fear missing out on gods purposes for my life
I fear that what I'm passionate about, and what I feel led to aren't where God wants me to go
and the list really could go on....
but bringing those fears to light.
and LETTING God show me His great love for me the past few weeks
well it's wrecked my world all over again.
it's why I'm leading this trip with my husband this summer.
we heard Bob Goff [if you don't know who he is, order his book now + follow him on twitter] and he has an amazing story.
God has done some pretty big things in his life + his message is simple: BE NOT AFRAID.
He says over & over how amazing things happen "when we aren't afraid anymore"
did you know the bible says "do not fear" 365 times in the bible? thats one time for every day of the year. you think the Lord is trying to get a message across to us?
so...about fear.
I don't want to fear. I want to bring my fear to light. I want to KNOW, really know that there is NO fear in love. I want to know that God has me where he wants me, so He can show me his great love. and showing me He is.
I am right where He wants me.
I'm stepping out. I'm saying YES. I'm not afraid anymore.
I can't miss out on what He wants to do in my life because I'm afraid.
He is sovereign. He is in control. He has numbed my days, and I don't want to miss out anymore because I'm fearful.
saying YES to the trip meant laying down my fear of leaving my babies behind with family.
it meant saying YES despite my fear of leading
it meant saying YES to going back to a place that is uncomfortable + stretching for me...[Uganda]
I love what Philip Knight said after we watched the Man Up & Go movie...we don't go on these trips to love on the fatherless because we think it sounds like fun...we go because christ compels us to.
we go even when it's out of our comfort zone, even when it scares us, because that means we have to rely on christ more.
[camp. might be one of my favorite pictures ever. let's pretend he's telling you not to fear!]
ramblings.
but I pray that they encourage you.
and that they make you look at the FEAR you have, and that you pray and ask god to help you KNOW and BELIEVE the great great love he has for you.
because He sure does love you.
"Know that the Lord, He is God. It is He who made us, and we are HIS"
Psalm 100:3
My reading this morning was from Exodus 4 where Moses plays the "what if" game with God as he prepares to go back and share the commandments. It fit perfectly with this.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are going on the trip; I love that you were able to say yes.
i love how god does that, just keeps putting the same thing in front of us again & again huh? thanks for sharing!
Deletethank you so much for this, Wynne!!!! WHEW! I need the confirmation and the push, too!
ReplyDeleteYES sister! press on!
DeleteSeriously, Wynne. Motherhood brings out the blogger in you. You have really turned up the inspiration level here lately. AWE-SOME stuff, my friend! :)
ReplyDeletei love that, "motherhood brings out the blogger in me" haha YES! the lord is just using all this time I have at home to write write write and encourage! i love it :)
DeleteI too fear a lot. Especially about not doing what He wants me to do. Going to bring that to Him today :)
ReplyDeletebring it girl!
Deleteexactly what I needed at this very moment. I've been going on and on about how fearless I am for this adoption. But as I type this I am sitting in fear of so many other things. Fear of flat out missing Gods purpose. Thanks for all of your encouragement. :)
ReplyDeletebring those fears to LIGHT!!!
DeleteThat's funny because when I read your blog I see know sign of fear in you!! :) You've traveled to unknown places, went back to those places, and adopted from those places!! You are inspiring!!
ReplyDeleteFear is my biggest weakness. I've always feared, but I don't want too!! :) Thank you for speaking the truth, and sharing your raw feelings!!
you are so cute. i for sure have fear!!!! bring those fears to light & let gods love wash over you!
DeleteGreat post! Went along with my reading today from Donald Miller's Book " A Million Miles In a THousand Years " So yes... my fear???.....Sending in our adoption agreement.
ReplyDelete"the thing or place we've come to fear is the exact place God wants to show us His great love".
That's what I need to keep hearing today.
thank you!! oh yes!! bob is all over that book!!! send in that agreement and say, NO FEAR!
DeleteSo good Wynne! I can identify with several things you said (esp. the fear of never having bio. kids!). Love that you're doing things that challenge you and stretch you. I think God does amazing things when we step out in faith like that. Wished we lived closer - I feel like we have so much in common :)
ReplyDeleteoh yes girl. love you and so glad we met and YES wish we lived closer!! jamming to your hubby's EP right now! we are NOT alone!
Deleteoh I struggle with fear alllll the time. and it's so encouraging to read these words and just really know I'm not alone and that its part of human frailty. I love that there is a fear verse for every day of the year. How cool is God!?!?!
ReplyDeletewww.heyjudedylan.blogspot.com
you are NOT alone. seriously, we all struggle/deal with it! god is pretty cool!
DeleteThis was such an encouragement to me, Wynne! The things you listed are some of my same fears...losing my hubs, not having kids, missing out on God's purpose for me life. I've found myself at times paralyzed by these fears but always try to remember that nothing is out of God's control and God's amazing redeeming grace. That no matter what happens, He'll turn it all around for good and use for the glory of his precious name. :) That really helps me conquer my fears. :)
ReplyDelete<3, Hannah
hannahbunker.com
you are right, NOTHING is out of gods control and his amazing redeeming grace! he WILL use it for our joy and his good and glory! whew! just keep telling ourselves that every day!!
Delete